Yesterday was a great day. After I got home from work, Josh told me that Asa had been such a big boy, and pee'd in his potty all morning. Asa would run in the bathroom and say that he had to go poo, he would try, and then nothing. We both knew that he had to go, as it had been 2 days. He's holding it. I'm so frustrated at this point. I bribbed him with going to the park, eating as many "smartie" candies as he wanted, eating an ice cream sandwich, and the list goes on. Nothing. He answers me with, I don't want any of those things mum. After a while, I realized it wasn't going to happen anytime soon, so we went to Sissys to try out Asa's big wheel and scooter.
She lives at the end of a cul de sac, and he has lots of room to maneuver. It was the first time he rode a big wheel by himself, and his scooter skills are SICK! I'm so very proud of him. He liked chasing me in the big wheel, thinking he was going to run me over. He cracked himself up. Being a boy that he is, he loved going down the dip at sissy's driveway, as he would go fast, and almost lose control. I even let Vali ride the scooter. She looked so cute with her little bare feet on the scooter, with her sparkly toe polish. I held her hands on the handle bars and we went in circles. She was so still. She's adorable. This was happening when she was supposed to be napping. I tried explaining to sissy that she needs Vali to cry it out, so she will be able to calm herself down on her own, and it's better for her in the long run, blah blah blah.
Asa and I got home. He ran into the bathroom, telling me he need to go poo, and after that he wanted the cupcake that I got him (another bribe). After sitting for about 40 minutes or so, he said he needed to go pee instead. After that, he said that NOW I can have 1/2 a cupcake Mum. NO. I'm not kidding when I say that we must have spent 3 hours total yesterday, sitting on the potty. He would need to go, and then look at me with tears welling in his eyes, and hold it and NOT GO!! I'm going CRAZY! All this going to the bathroom, and I have to go now. It's about 5:30, I'm in the bathroom, Asa runs in, stops in the doorway, and I know that it's happened. Accident. I would have let him wallow in it for a bit, so he could see how uncomfy it was, but "it" was EVERYWHERE!!!! ON the floor, his clothes, his feet. I wanted to yell at him, but held my tongue. It's so frustrating, because he's really smart, and just refuses. I cleaned him up, and the whole time, he's telling me "hold me mum, I love you. Please hold me" I told him NO, that I had to clean up messes. Then he hit me. TIME OUT! He went to his bed, and cried and cried, all the while asking me to hold him. After 5 minutes, I went to his room, and he asked me to hold him. I was reaching for him, when he shuttered. Yeah, he pee'd on his bed. I'm too tired to yell, and feeling like a total failure. Have I been too hard on him, trying to make him go poo when he doesn't want to, putting him in time out? I don't say a word to him, other than "move, I have to do more cleaning" He starts crying again begging me to hold him. He cried yesterday more than he's cried for the last 2 weeks combined. I sat him down for dinner, escaped to the bedroom, and just cried and cried to Mom on the phone. I feel like such a failure. I don't know if I'm pressuring to hard, or not hard enough. I figured once he know that going potty didn't hurt, he would do it on a more consistant level. I set my self up to fail I guess. It's ironic that I tried to give Sissy all the answers yesterday regarding her predicament, and failed at my own actions. On the phone, Mom told me "both my mama's are having a hard time today". We are so blessed to have her.
All this said, I need advise. How long does this crap take? LOL I'm I a horrible mother, expecting too much? Am I not trying hard enough? Does he need to sit until he goes? He cries after bit, begging me not to make him go. I know if this goes on the same way, I'm going to lose my mind, and be even more impatient, and I don't want to lose my cool, and tell him something I'll be sorry about later. He is my angel. After he went to sleep last night, I went into his room, and cried and cried, feeling so bad about my behavior. I'm feeling so guilty.
After writing this, I feel better letting it out. Not so emotional. This potty training is consuming my life right now. Is this normal????? I'm actually not too sad that I'm at work all day today. It's my escape from the training. I think this has triggered a depressive episode. Not too hard since I've been a bit manic for a week or so. Up and down, up and down. Exhausting.
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7 comments:
Accidents WILL happen, if you think they won't, then yes, you are setting yourself up for failure. Even in SIX MONTHS they will happen. Remember in school, someone would have an accident? I remember that, and I was about EIGHT! It WILL happen, just be patient with him. Every time you think of blowing your top, imagine Asa to be Valentina. That will keep you in check. I have to do it with V! LOL. Wanna trade kids?
Hang in there Trina. I am probably no help because it has been so long for me... or I have totally blocked it from my memory! :0) He is just testing you and I think you handled it perfectly. Even if it seemed harsh to you.
One thing you have to remember......you will ALWAYS be mom, and he will always love you because of that. My opinion......there is absolutely nothing wrong with him knowing you are upset about having to clean up a mess that was totally unnecessary. He is fully capable of using the toilet.....he doesn't have anything medically wrong that would prevent him from that. You have more patience than I about the situation.....I applaud that! 2 years is my limit on diapers. You might try taking him and letting him pick out some "special" underware, and if he messes in them you take them away.....you may have already done all of this, as it sounds like you are doing just about all of the "rewards" that you can possibly think about.....Maybe try to just lay down the law. ;~) He is old enough to understand. Remember......it's VERY hard to potty train in diapers.....it's not convenient, but much more effective in my experience. I won't go on......don't want people to feel that I am trying to force my parenting values... Am I just a mean mommy or what? Sorry if I said too much!..........but you know me.
Trina Potty training is never an occasion we look forward to. I will tell you that it feels different for them to have to sit as they are use to going in there diapers usually standing up. Let him know that you understand, but tell him that you know it might feel different when he uses the potty. In the pre-school rooms they were not allowed to play in the sand boxes till they were completely trained you might tell him that swimming pools and sandboxes will not allow him to use them if he is not poopy trained.I think the book everybody poops explains this to them in terms they understand, if nothing else try an outing to the library and if they have the book read it to him there, that way he might see that he is not alone in his quest to achieve big boy status. And a word to the wise boys are not as easy to train as girls. If he is holding it then he is expanding his colon and may not feel the full feeling, talk to your peds about perhaps a tsp of min oil if he is starting to hold it for long periods of time.
Good luck you are doing all the right things... and don't ever feel like you are a mean mommy, you are a great mom and Asa's outside of the home behavior reflects that. Now pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you are wonderful, cuz you are.
Hugs,
Mother TeresaII
Hang in there Cameo, and your Little princess will be getting her beauty sleep in one fall swope. You are doing the right things, you are comforting her and reassuring her you are just outside the room, she will cry less and less as the nights wear on, and you will become less and less sleep deprived.
By the way I love your new hair-do, it is very becoming on you.
I will remember you and your sissy in my prayers.
Hugs,
Mother TeresaII
No words of wisdom - I'm really not sure how I (and my son as well) survived potty training. I hated it!! And yes, it becomes all about the potty training and it consumes your life.
Hang in there - you are doing a great job.
You are such a great Mom. Please know that we all had times when our kids cried to make us feel guilty trying to make them do what they should. They get over it and you will too. Asa is a wonderful smart boy and I think you got some great ideas like the special big boy pants. It seemed to work to let him play a game while he sat at Cameo's. It distracts him and he goes without even realizing it.
Hang in there. Oh and I had to tell Jamie that I didn't like changing diapers and all that when Jason was born and that's all it took. Be honest and be firm. This too will pass. no pun intended.
Love you
Grama
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