I hate sounding like a Debbie Downer, which I'm really not, but I did get some bad news. After meeting with my oncologist yesterday, the consensus is that I must terminate the pregnancy. If I was a lot farther along it could be different, but since I am so early, there really is no other choice. I need a bone scan yet and then will start treatment as early as next week. Monday and Tuesday will be the worst days of my life to date. D & C is scheduled for Tuesday, perhaps as early as Monday. I am prepared, but so sad. I'm so sad. I'm glad that I have my perfect boy and Joshua is the best. I am so lucky to have my support of my family.
Last night I slept better than I have in weeks. I had the right pain pill and slept virtually pain free last night. Sleeping did a lot for me emotionally. I'm excited to start treatment. Since I had such a long remission from my cancer last time, nearly 17 years, they will probably use the same cocktail as before. I will be going once a week for chemo, for 3 months. Hopefully it will be in remission by then and then I will be on hormone therapy for the rest of my life.
Asa has a soccer game today at 1 and then Joshua and I are double dating with Sissy and Norm after. The weather is gorgeous today and we are having lunch al fresco and then to a movie. Star Trek. Sissy and I did not pick the movie :) Tomorrow is Mother's Day and we will all be having lunch together. I'm lucky to have my family. And lucky to have my cyber family too.
Thank you for your prayers and thoughts and I will continue to need them throughout my week next week as it will be one of the hardest of my life.
27 comments:
Praying for you. Glad you were able to get some sleep without pain.
Oh Trina, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say - words just seem inadequate. Praying!!!!
You know I am praying. I am fighting the urge to get on the next damn plane over there.
Sig
Trina,
There are no words at a time like this...I just want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I am going to put you on my new church's prayer chain. I hope that's ok. I know it worked when Tyler was sick. You have the most amazing family, let them be your strength.
Love, hugs and postive thoughts!
Cherrie
You are in my thoughts and prayers... You are SO strong, you're amazing! Praying and Praying....
I don't know what to say - this sucks and I just feel so bad for you! I will be prayong for you and your entire family - especially during this next week. In the meantime - enjoy Asa's soccer game and your date tonight. Have a blessed Mother's Day tomorrow.
Trina, I really have no words. I'm shocked, upset, heartbroken...you name it. I'm hopeful, too, and you are strong and you've already kicked cancer's ass once and you will again.
Love yous,
Holls
Trina,
I am so terribly sorry and heartbroken for you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish there was something more that I could do.
I don't know you but came across your sister's comments on facebook. I am so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers. I am recovering from a double mastectomy right now from breast cancer. I also know that at any time I may get the same news. You sound amazingly strong and have a wonderful support... but know that a girl from California will be here cheering you on! Again I am so sorry for all of this... cancer truly sucks and then some!
Oh, Trina, I'm so sorry. About the cancer, and the baby. Get that treatment, and kick cancer's ass. Kisses.
Oh, Trina, I am so sad with you, and I am so, so sorry. Please take care of yourself (aka pamper yourself and get lots of rest!), and enjoy your day tomorrow. I am praying for you!!
friednly lurker just wanting to say that i'm very sorry you are going through this & i'll be sending positive thoughts your way this week!
UGH, my heart is just breaking for you guys right now....I have no words.
But this is what the LORD says:
"Yes, captives will be taken from warriors,
and plunder retrieved from the fierce;
I will contend with those who contend with you,
and your children I will save.
Isaiah 45:25
You know we love you, and are here for you! You sound so strong:) My heart breaks for all of you and I am MAD, mad that someone so awesome has to go through this...again! Enjoy your date tonight! 3 months will fly by and remission will be talk of the town!!
Hugs to our little Beckham and his awesome family!!
Kick its ass Mama!!!
Loves you!!
I am so sorry. I love you and hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day with the most amazing little boy since Norm and Jason. lol
I choose to believe you will have 2 babies in heaven. I believe I will have one. We will be young and healthy and never have any pain or tears.
Prayers for more good nights of sleep. Please let me know if you need me.
Have fun on your date night... enjoy your little precious boy on Mother's Day...know that I am here for you today, tomorrow and always.
Just sending some prayers to you and your family, Trina.
Trina, If ANYBODY can kick cancer's ass, it's you.... I will be praying NONSTOP until you tell us all you're in remission, and then I will thank God..... Cancer is no match for a Gonzalez!!!!!!
I love all of you,
Lou
I am so sorry. There are not words to express how very sorry I am for you and your family. You are in our prayers.
Love to you,
Deb
I'm so sorry, sweetie. You are so loved. Praying for you.
Trina,
ugh! My prayers are with you and your family.
Trina, I'm so very sorry. Please know that we are all thinking of you. Hope you were able to enjoy your evening out tonight. Our prayers are with you, especially on Monday and Tuesday. Take care.
We know you are strong, but that doesn't make this any easier. We feel sick thinking of all this, our thoughts are confused and frustrated, but our hearts KNOW that God is with you. Take care, and please know that we are here for you.
Trina you will be alright you have to get healthy for your ASA. He need's his Mum.Please don't forget Josh he must be having a very hard time with this and need's everyone's support.
I will be thinking of you
Stay strong
Love Gmom
Trina you dont know me, but I got to know your sister when we were thinking of adopting from Guatemala. We've since lost touch but I always have remembered how she spoke of her family. I am sooo very sorry for all you're going thru. I cant even begin to imagine. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and know you will overcome this.. the little I know of your sis.. she is strong and know you are too. It doesnt make things any better but just know so many out there are thinking and praying for you! Take good care.. Again soo very sorry!
Leigh
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