TGIF

I'm on a bi-polar roller coaster this week. It's exhausting, but I'm managing. I started this blog to talk about my illness and soon it became about my family and goings on. I throw in some mental heath notes and updates here and there. I'm having a rough time right now and between therapist, so I'm going to unload here. After having an up and down week, I decided to start writing about it, get it on "paper" and see how I feel about it. So, you are all stuck with me and my crazy mind. I am going to spare you the details of my destructive behaviour pre-medication, but I'm feeling guilt, grief and a relentless feeling of discontent. I have everything anyone could ever want. I have the best supportive family anyone could want and they love me unconditionally. THANK YOU GOD! I have not been lovable many times in my life, and they all stuck with me. I am blessed. All of these great things....and I'm still numb. I feel guilty for feeling the way I feel when I am so blessed with all of these gifts that have been given to me. The only way I'm coping is being with the children and having spurts of mania. I'm hoping that writing will also help me cope. I'm putting it out there. That's that.

EVERY SINGLE DAY, I clean up square's of toilet paper that have landed right next to the garbage. Since Joshua's lasik surgery, he wipes his tears with a square of paper. For some reason, he can't manage to aim it at the toilet, or the garbage can, which is where is usually lands. I have nagged, nagged and nagged some more for over a month. I had finally had it yesterday. I left a note, see article number 1 above. I forgot about writing it during my day, and went to the bathroom in the evening. That is when I found article number 2 below.

Bugga

So far, so good, but it has only been 24 hours. I'll keep you updated on the toilet paper caper.

Asa at his first basketball lesson. I have tried to detour him from basketball. He's pretty petite for his age. He is easily frustrated when he can't do something perfect the first time and I knew this was going to be a struggle for him. As we leave swimming lessons in the morning, he see the kids playing basketball and he has been asking for basketball lesson for over 2 weeks now. I caved like any other caving mom would. He wasn't very good, but eager and he had a smile on his face the whole time. When his time was over, he was devastated. He is now counting the days until next Wednesday.

Asa was being really quite while he was in his room. Joshua went in to make sure all was OK, and he found Asa sitting in his rocker reading his novel.

Hmmm, wonder who took this photo.

This was Tuesday and Valentina got to hang out with me. She had red glitter shoes on and looked pretty funny trying to play soccer with Asa, but she is a trooper and kept at it. I love that little girl so much.

The swing set has never interested Asa much, but Valentina loves it. She would wrap her legs around it and not let go when I wanted it to be over....after 1/2 hour of pushing and keeping her on it.

a very blurry picture of Asa.

Valentina rarely lets me give her besos, but she let me. I love the look on her face and it makes her TT so happy to see it.

This picture cracks me up. Valentina got tangled in the soccer next somehow and she was trying to get herself out. I told myself...she's going to start yelling "TT" soon. I counted down, 5...4...3...2...1...Yup...."TT, HEWP!! TT HEWP". Asa not really caring about the whole thing.

Finally got her trapped ball or berry as she calls it.

One of Asa's soccer practice obstacles is to knock down the cones in a quick manner. Then his team mates and Asa go and set them up and start over again. Asa was doing this Tuesday and guess who was cone picker upper. Asa would say "Valentina, pick up that cone". Valentina would respond "OK Asa".

Playing with her pretty berry.

Superbowl Sunday at my house. My dad made all of us team badges out of paper to wear to support our team. He drew them free hand and actually drew with marker, Mom's T-shirt. Amazing isn't it? This is what you call Mexi Ghetto Flair. And we loved it. Aren't all of you that have cool expensive football jerseys and Starter baseball caps jealous? I know you are. You have to be mexican to figure this shit out.

Asa's "football" helmet.

Asa is wearing a Seahawks jersey....but it was transformed and we pretended.

He wore this about 1/2 hour or so before he got hot, but he was pretending he was Rothlisberger the entire time.

See the foot ball in his hand? He would mimic every play, including falling down.

Josh would be more than pissed if he knew I posted this picture, so I'm posting this picture with out his knowledge. Privacy laws go in the shitter when it comes to blogging.

Asa, getting tired of me trying to get the perfect picture of him. It's such a different look for him.

Asa at swimming lessons, waiting for his turn to get in the water. He kept saying "it sure is taking a long time Mum, can you say something to hurry them up, Mum, can you? Huh Mum?".

I'll leave you with this.

Shake N Bake!