OK, the sun is out, and that is making life a bit more bearable.
I am pretty much a negative nelly right now, since we have gotten home from our sunny California trip. I get pretty amped and excited before going and on vacation. When I get home....depression hits. EVERY TIME IT SEEMS!
I wish that I could be happy with the fact that we are even able to go on a vacation, a lot of people can't.
I wish that I could be happy that the sun is out, but I can't.
I wish that my home would make me happy, but it can't.
I wish that my family could make me happy right now, but they can't.
I wish that I could be happy that I have a job, but I can't.
I wish that I could stop crying, but I can't.
I wish that I wouldn't miss Grandma so much, but I can't.
I want to look forward to upcoming events, but I can't.
I'm pretty low right now, and self destructing. I don't want to call the therapist, because I know my only option right now is an additional med, and I'm not ready for that. I'm hoping that in a few days, I'll be up again. Poor me.
On a more positive note. Vacation was great. Maybe too great. I didn't want to come home to reality. Laundry, cooking, WORK, and rain.
Asa continues to make me laugh. He watched 2 episodes of the Mole with me last night. He thought that the Mole would be revealed last night. He told me later in bed "mum, that Mole show is pretty good". As we were laying in bed, he kept saying that his butt was not "comforting" I said "what does that mean?" He stammered quite a bit, and kept saying um, um, finally he said "It means that you are too close to me and I need more room". He should start his own thesaurus.
The day we were leaving California, he was in the tub. I said "are you so excited that we are going home, and you can see Kisi and get back to your own room?" He said "uh, no Mum, I'm glad staying here at the Holiday Inn Express". I agreed.
Us girls and kids are going to do some flower planting today, hoping that it will cheer all of us up. (yes, all of us are not happy right now, for various reasons) It reminds me of Grandma, as she loved to plant flowers. Actually, everything reminds me of Grandma lately. I love the memories, but it sucks.
I will write again when I am back to my old self, funny and charming;)
Me and my little family
About Me
- Trina G.
- I am part of the best family of 8 that ever existed. We are busy always having fun and enjoying the 2 little ones that make our world go round. I am wife and mother to the sweetest boys that every lived. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
Mi Familia
The best family in the world
Our Prince
my darling son
Our Princess
my pretty pretty princess
My 2 favorite kids
8 comments:
I know, everything reminds me of grandma too. Life, flowers, food, sun, clouds, Grandma loved everything in life. But life goes on and we will be ok someday.
I'm so sorry you are so down. I will be praying for all of you. Love you!
Oh Trina - I am so sorry you are struggling - I know depression is so hard and some days crippling - but look in the mirror and tell yourself that Julia and her family and lost of other folks love you and we are praying for you and we know you are going to come out of this! You are strong and brave and wonderful. You are a great Mom and great wife. You are an amazing daughter and sister. And look at Valentina and what a great Aunt you are;)
I care about you and I am sorry you are hurting. I am sending hugs and lots of good thoughts and prayers with this comment:):)
Hang in there and email me if you need to - you are not alone:):)
Love and Hugs,
Julia:)
Hang in there, things will get better. I'm glad that you had a great time on vacation. You will be in my thoughts!
It OK to grieve. Don't beat yourself up, it is natural. Give yourself time. You were so lucky to have such a wonderful grandmother. The things she instilled in you, you will carry on to Asa and your own grandchildren. Her spirit will live forever.
Shake and Bake
It is totally normal to grieve Sissy! I also get vacation depression, too, so I am there with you. So, I say come see me in sunny AZ! That'll get rid of ALL of your sunshine cravings ;) It's supposed to be 107 this weekend. Wanna come play?!
You hang in there, Sissy. You'll ALL be okay! Love ya, girl!
You can write when you are not back to your old self...maybe it will help. Prayers that you will all be on the mend soon.
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